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SO YOU STARTED LATE– GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK ALREADY!
Of all the things people say to me after they’ve read my books, attended one of my seminars, stopped me in an airport, or called in to my radio show, there is one comment I hear more than all the others put together:
“If only I had started saving when I was younger.”
SOMETIMES LIFE THROWS YOU A CURVEBALL
While some of you may blame yourselves for not having started earlier, I also know that many of you are starting late not because you were shortsighted or lazy or irresponsible, but because life threw you a curveball. I hear from people all the time who are starting late because of divorce, death, illness, disability, bankruptcy, poor career choices, lack of education–and on and on. Either way, it’s time to cut to the chase. What’s done is done. You can’t go back and fix the past.
THE PAST IS OVER
Oh, you say, if only I knew then what I know now, my whole life would be different.
Of course it would. But guess what–you didn’t know. Or if you did, you didn’t do what you knew you needed to be doing.
So it’s done. Finished. Settled.
Sometimes life is unfair.
But that’s okay.
You can move on.
You can get over it.
Stop asking yourself why you didn’t do what you should have done. The real question is: What are you going to do about it now?
NO MORE SAYING,“IF ONLY”!
For a long time now, you’ve been beating yourself up about what you haven’t done or should have done. Some of you have been beating yourselves up for your mistakes for decades. It’s unreal how tough we can be on ourselves.
We all do this. I’m no exception. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said to myself, “Oh, if only I hadn’t sold that house in Danville, California.”That house was the first house I ever owned. I bought it for $220,000 and sold it nearly five years later for $225,000. (Not exactly a Donald Trump real estate flip.) Today, that house is worth more than $700,000.
If only. . .
Or how about this one? If only I’d bought Dell stock when I bought my first Dell computer. A $10,000 investment in Dell back in 1994 would have been worth $963,000 at the end of 2003.
If only. . .
I could go on and on. But none of it matters. What matters is that with all the amazing mistakes I’ve made over the years, I still managed to become a multimillionaire. That’s because rather than looking back, I focus on going forward. And here’s the bottom line: If you are not yet as rich as you want to be, stop focusing on what you haven’t done and start focusing on what you want to do. And if you’re not yet who you want to be, get over that, too. You can become the person you really want to be. You start by letting go of all of the old stories you keep replaying in your head like a broken record or scratched CD.
YOU CAN’T COULDA-WOULDA-SHOULDA YOURSELF TO WEALTH OR HAPPINESS
You know what I’m talking about. So stop “shoulda-ing” all over yourself. It’s messy and makes you unhappy. I know. I’ve been there.
Instead, decide today–right now–to let it go. We all make mistakes. I’ve made them. You’ve made them. Your parents and friends have made them. We are all human. Mistakes hurt. But let’s not waste one more ounce of your energy, spirit, or time thinking about them, because all that will do is hold you back.
Keep this in mind:
The past will continue to be your future if you drag it along with you!
THE FASTEST WAY TO LET IT GO
Here’s an exercise I recommend you do. (Not this minute. Right now I want you to keep reading. But try it when you finish reading this chapter.) If you really want to get over something you regret, the fastest way to do it is to acknowledge the regret–and then burn it up. Literally.
Here’s what you do. Get yourself a blank sheet of paper and write down a list of as many of your personal “if only’s” you can think of.
If only I had saved more money.
If only I hadn’t quit that job.
If only I hadn’t taken the job I have.
If only I’d had kids.
If only I’d not had kids.
If only I had bet on the Yankees.
If only I hadn’t bet on the Red Sox.
I’m serious about this. Really go to town with it. Free-flow. Let it all hang out. Be honest with yourself. You’ve been beating yourself up over this stuff for years, so you might as well as get it down on paper.
When you’re finished making your list… set fire to it! I’m serious. Light a match and BURN IT UP. Let all those damn “if only’s” turn into ashes.
Have a “Goodbye If Only’s” party. Invite a friend over and do it together.
Just make sure you burn your “if only’s” somewhere safe. We don’t want you setting fire to your house. If burning them seems too extreme, then just tear up your “if only’s” into little pieces and toss them in the garbage can.
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